7 Things You Should Never Do on a Date
7 chapters
- Introduction to First Date PitfallsContextFirst dates have tremendous potential but can also be awkward, serving as either the foundation for an entire relationship or just a funny story to tell friends.Main FocusThe video explores seven romance buzz kills, which are things you should never talk about on a first date.Expert BackgroundVanessa Van Edwards runs a human behavior research lab called the Science of People and specializes in providing relationship tricks, tips, and hacks.Key QuestionWhile many people ask what to talk about on a first date, it's more important to ask what you should not talk about.
- Buzz Kill #1: Family ReferencesThe ProblemAnything that comes after the phrase 'well my mom says' is a no-go on a first date.Why It MattersYou don't want your date thinking about your mom when trying to go in for a kiss. Keep your parents out of the first date conversation.What to Avoid• References to what your mom always says • Bringing parents into the conversation • Sharing family-related commentsTakeawayKeep your mom and dad at home where they belong, not in your date conversation with your date.
- Buzz Kill #2: Political TopicsThe IssuePolitics is the antisocial lubricant that immediately creates tension when brought up on a first date.Specific Topics to Avoid• Candidates and elections • Voting and political parties • Political commentary and opinionsWhy It BackfiresThe moment you bring up political topics, the whole interaction becomes prickly, and it doesn't give love or lust a chance to develop.Better TimingSave political discussions for date number two once you've established a better foundation.
- Buzz Kill #3: Dating Numbers GameThe TrapDon't ask how many dates they've been on or how long they've been on a dating website or app.The ProblemComparing numbers is like holding up a floppy yardstick—it's really hard to get an accurate read and opens the door to traps.What Not to Ask• How many dates have they been on • How long they've been on the dating website • Specific app usage or matching statisticsBest PracticeSteer clear of any talk about the dating app or website you met on—it's a topic ripe for traps and comparisons.
- Buzz Kill #4: Ex-Partner MentionsRed FlagAnything that comes after the phrase 'when I was with my ex' is a definite and immediate buzz kill.The MistakeWhile it might seem like social proof to mention past relationships, it actually triggers all the wrong questions and concerns.What to Avoid• Ex mentions and references • Stories about past relationships • Comparisons to former partnersExceptionYou can discuss X-Men or other topics starting with 'X', just not ex-partners.
- Buzz Kill #5: The Billboard CheckThe RuleUse the billboard check: ask yourself if you'd be proud to put a topic on a billboard with your face on it.Topics to Avoid• Gross facts about your digestion • Inappropriate sexual mentions • Overly personal intimate details about your pastThe BalanceYou want to get deep with your first date but not inappropriate—keep conversations respectful and tasteful.Key PrincipleIf you aren't proud of what you're saying, don't say it on a first date.
- Conclusion and Next StepsThe QuestionAfter covering what not to talk about, the big question remains: what should you talk about?Solution OfferedVanessa offers to cover the best 13 first date questions in the next video.Call to Action• Subscribe to the channel for a new video every week • Like the video to continue enjoying first date successFinal NoteThe video ends with a humorous moment where Vanessa demonstrates an awkward wink, illustrating the importance of the advice given.
