My favorite questions to connect on a date

Bad second dates happen when you can't escape level one questions about what someone does, where they're from, their childhood, or opinions about places.

General traits is knowing basic information about someone like what they do and where they're from. Most first dates focus entirely on these questions.

• Knowing what motivates them to get out of bed or their goals and desires • Understanding what worries or concerns them, what keeps them up at night

Skip level one questions entirely on a second date and move directly to level two questions to deepen the connection.

• What's your big goal for this year? • What excites you most in your life right now?

• Are you learning anything right now? • Do you have a bucket list and what's on it?

If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

These questions help you understand what motivates someone and what they desire, creating genuine level two connection.

Level three is called self-narrative, which is the story someone tells themselves about themselves and how they make sense of their journey and personality.

Don't go too fast to level three, save these deeper questions for potential third dates and beyond.

• What's something most people don't know about you? • Who's your role model? • How do you feel most misunderstood? • How can I better understand you? • Is there an area of your life you wish you had more support? • What forces shaped your personality? • Who made you who you are? • Are you closer with your mom or dad?

These questions access someone's internal story, which is the key to unlocking true connection.

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