4 Jokes That Will Make You The Most Liked Person In The Group

Ellen DeGeneres is one of the most likeable hosts on television largely due to the types of jokes she makes. Her comedy style has a way of instantly endearing her guests to her.

Ellen's jokes don't hurt anyone. While most people's jokes make the room laugh, often someone feels bad because they are the butt of the joke.

Consistently making jokes where there is a loser might make people laugh in the moment but will alienate someone. If done often enough, you will alienate most everyone.

Understanding how jokes affect relationships is crucial because this pattern is common among friends and social groups.

Ellen often makes herself the butt of some of her jokes by comparing herself unfavorably to her guests. This is classic self-deprecating humor.

• Ellen jokes about having shoes and vests from 1988 when speaking with a guest born that year • Ellen compares herself to Malala, who won the Nobel Peace Prize at age 17, joking that she was similar at age 18

When breaking down a joke, the literal words are less important than the subtext because the subtext is often opposite to what someone is literally saying. In Ellen's Malala joke, she literally says she is like Malala but the subtext is that she was nothing like her at age 18, which is a compliment.

Self-deprecating humor creates likeability because it demonstrates confidence and is a safe way to make people laugh without hurting anyone.

Poking fun is joking at someone's expense in a way that is harmless because it targets temporary, common, or non-identity aspects of who they are.

• People are unlikely to be insecure about things that are temporary, common, or not core to their identity • People are likely to be more insecure about things that are permanent, uncommon, or core to their identity

• Ellen jokes with Jennifer Lopez about not wanting her to touch her because she has bronchitis—being sick is temporary and not something J.Lo is insecure about • Ellen jokes with Amy Adams about not going to college, which works because Amy is a wildly successful actress and unlikely to be insecure about her educational choices

The same joke could hurt someone if they are still doubting their choices. Context and knowing your audience are essential to making poking fun work without damage.

Ego boosters are jokes that comment on how successful, good-looking, kind, or likeable someone is while making them laugh. This is the gold standard of jokes that create instant likeability.

When you make people laugh while complimenting them, they will immediately like you and want to spend more time around you.

Ellen tells Amy Adams that she is an amazing actress nominated for not one but two Oscars tonight, then jokingly calls it selfish—building her up while making her laugh.

Unlike jokes with losers that can damage relationships, ego boosters improve relationships by reinforcing positive feelings about the other person.

• Wordplay and puns, like jokes about wine and Somalia • Random surprises, like making noise while someone is rehearsing • Preposterous made-up scenarios, like Ellen telling Will Smith he has to finish hosting the Oscars for her

Very few people make silly jokes even though opportunities are available all day long. Most people operate on literal autopilot rather than being playful.

Everyone laughs when people are silly with them, yet some people find it easy while others find it difficult. The difference is often in how primed someone is to be playful.

Silly jokes are fun and don't require targeting anyone, making them a safe and enjoyable type of humor for any social situation.

• The mint toss at the beginning of her show, where she throws a mint in the air and tries to catch it to start the day in a playful mood • Constant dancing and goofing off, which her show has become famous for • Games with guests, like the Heads Up app, which Ellen and her team created

• Find a simple ritual like the mint toss that makes you smile and do it at the beginning of your day or before any interaction • Move your body through dancing or expressive movements—the more expressive you are, the funnier and more positive you will be in conversations • Find ways to bring games into your interactions, such as using the Heads Up app on your phone when conversations turn boring

These habits prime you to be playful, which changes your mood and how you interact throughout the day. Even one round of a game can brighten people and open them up conversationally.

Ellen has created a lifestyle that makes her more fun and positive all the time, which is why she makes an incredible first impression. You can apply these same principles to your own life.

Reflect on recent times you made people laugh and ask yourself: Were your jokes self-deprecating, poking fun, ego boosters, silly, or jokes that had a loser?

• Self-deprecating, poking fun, and ego booster jokes tend to improve relationships • Jokes that have losers can actually be damaging to relationships • Silly jokes make people laugh without hurting anyone

Many people don't make jokes at all or fall into a category of just silly jokes. Others consistently make jokes with losers, which alienates people over time.

Understanding these four types of jokes allows you to consciously choose humor that builds relationships rather than damages them. This is a foundational skill for creating charisma and likeability.