Confident Body Language Boosters

Vanessa Van Edwards, author of Human Lie Detection and Body Language 101, joins the show to discuss how to win friends and influence people through confident body language.

Most people preparing for job interviews or dates focus only on what they will say, neglecting how they will appear and present themselves through body language.

At minimum 60% of communication is non-verbal, meaning if you only focus on words in a job interview or date, you're only using about 40% of your ability to show confidence.

Understanding and implementing confident body language techniques can significantly improve how others perceive and rate your confidence, credibility, and hirability.

Researchers at Harvard Business School found that claiming territory is the most confident body language you can have. The more volume your body takes up, the more confident you look to others and the more confident you feel.

• Roll your shoulders back • Plant your legs firmly when standing in front of someone • Use hand gestures • Keep your head up with forehead and chest forward, avoiding hunching

In mock interviews, students instructed to use power posing and claim territory were rated as more intelligent, more hirable, and more credible. They were hired more frequently and felt more confident.

Confident body language leads to feeling more confident. Even if you don't feel confident initially about a date or interview, adopting confident body posture actually translates into feeling more confident.

There is a difference between confident power posing and aggressive power posing. Aggressive behaviors like fist pounding would be inappropriate on a date.

• Keep your chest open and up, not puffed out • Avoid leaning forward into someone's space • Do not cross your arms • Avoid hunching over • Maintain an expansive but respectful posture

The ideal zone allows you to feel confident and look confident while also being appropriate and respectful to the other person.

The goal is to project confidence without appearing creepy or aggressive.

Research shows that men rate women as untrustworthy if they use question inflection, which is when someone raises their voice at the end of their sentences, making statements sound like questions.

In a phone interview, a candidate said her name as if asking a question instead of stating it with authority. Using an authoritative voice tone conveys credibility and trustworthiness.

Practice answering questions by going down at the end of your sentences. For example, say 'My name is Vanessa' instead of 'My name is Vanessa?' This shows you believe your own words and are not questioning yourself.

Get a trusted friend to sit with you during mock questions and point out whenever you use question inflection, then rephrase without it. This builds the habit of using an authoritative voice tone in both dates and job interviews.

Leaning is a powerful non-verbal cue. When someone says something important to you, lean in slightly to non-verbally show engagement and agreement, creating an advanced non-verbal communication back and forth.

Confident body language is crucial in parenting. If you use question inflection when delivering punishment or rules to your child, you're essentially begging them to negotiate with you.

• Instead of 'You're going to have a timeout?' say 'You're going to have a timeout' with authority • Instead of 'Your bedtime is 9?' say 'Your bedtime is 9' with conviction

Children show 400 different body language expressions before starting school, but show less than 100 after. Adults are actually worse at reading and showing body language than children are.