Reading Body Language | Janine Driver | TEDxDeerPark

Janine Driver worked for a federal law enforcement agency in her twenties, specializing in firearms trafficking. She learned to identify behavioral patterns by decoding the body language of murderers.

• Skills from criminal investigation translated to business negotiations • Improved parenting and family relationships • Enhanced personal relationships and decision-making

While working at the World Trade Center in New York, Driver took a stand-up comedy class to counterbalance the emotional toll of searching for dangerous people.

A personal experience with night blindness while driving became a metaphor for life: sometimes you see signs ahead but cannot read them clearly, just like intuition about people.

ESL stands for Everyone's Second Language - the hidden messages people communicate without realizing it through their body language.

• Janine trained the CIA and FBI • Trained Scotland Yard police • Trained corporations like Procter & Gamble and Coca-Cola

The training provides 'ESL glasses' - a lens to see the hidden messages behind human behavior, similar to how glasses corrected Driver's vision.

Understanding ESL helps people have more wins in work, life, and love by detecting deception and finding truth.

In August 2018, Chris Watts' pregnant wife and two young daughters went missing. He conducted numerous media interviews while his family remained missing.

• Missing emotions: no fear or sadness in interviews • Present emotions: anger, disgust, and happiness • Clear signs of keeping a major secret

Less than six hours after Driver posted her analysis identifying suspicious behavior, Chris Watts confessed to killing his wife and later his two daughters.

Understanding body language can reveal what people are truly hiding, potentially saving lives by detecting danger early.

Eye blocking occurs when eyes close a little too long or disappear during conversation - a signal someone doesn't want you to see what's happening.

• Acts like a phone screen saver with passcode protection • Protects private information from observation • Removes visual distractions during deception to maintain focus on the lie

Suspicious examples include a bus driver always having a hat in front of his face, or someone looking away during phone calls to concentrate better.

• Chris Watts eye blocked for 1.5 seconds • Ted Bundy eye blocked for 9 seconds • Susan Smith eye blocked for 34 seconds on national television

Shoulder shrugging indicates uncertainty about something the person is communicating - it's the number one missed body language signal in everyday life.

A client used this knowledge in a pitch meeting. When a potential vendor client shrugged while saying they wanted a change, the client recognized their uncertainty and walked away, avoiding a wasted opportunity.

• A man shoulder shrugs specifically when thanking his wife, suggesting uncertainty about the relationship • Drew Peterson shoulder shrugs when discussing his wife's death • The gesture precedes accidental admissions or reveals hidden doubts

Body language signals are detected unconsciously before conscious thought. Noticing shoulder shrugs helps identify when someone is uncertain about what they're saying.

Lip-locking occurs when lips disappear or pull inward - a signal that someone doesn't like what they're seeing or hearing.

• Chris Watts exhibits continuous lip-locking in interviews • Jodi Arias displays this behavior on television • Multiple murderers show this pattern when discussing their crimes

Janine's mother began to disappear her lips during a conversation, revealing she had been hiding news about cancerous cells found in her throat from a previous PET scan.

Understanding this signal allows people to ask follow-up questions and uncover hidden truths, as demonstrated when Janine recognized her mother's distress and helped her address the medical situation.

Anger is a secondary emotion that masks primary emotions like fear, sadness, and anxiety - understanding this changes how people respond to anger in others.

• Son Angus came home from baseball and immediately slammed his bedroom door • Instead of punishing the door-slamming, Janine recognized eye-blocking behavior • Asked if he was sad, scared, or angry, and he broke down crying

Angus was upset because his father threatened to take his iPad if he left the game early, and he wanted to see his younger brothers before his mother traveled again.

By understanding ESL and the emotional complexity beneath anger, Janine created an amazing relationship moment and solved the actual problem instead of punishing perceived misbehavior.

Janine's mother had breast cancer diagnosed and revealed hidden throat cancer detected a year earlier on a PET scan that was never communicated by her doctor.

• Mother's lips disappeared during conversation, indicating she was hiding something • Despite mother's request not to involve doctors, Janine recognized deeper fear • Janine pulled aside the surgeon to alert them about the throat cancer concern

The surgeon investigated and found the throat condition had not metastasized - it originated from the breast cancer, giving her mother hope and clarity.

Mother acknowledged this was the greatest gift, knowing her cancer wasn't everywhere throughout her body but localized to the breast.

Participants took an oath to use ESL glasses for good, not for evil - a commitment to use body language knowledge responsibly.

• Detect deception and find truth • Protect your ideas and interests • Help someone experiencing fear, stress, and anxiety

When people take a stand for truth, everyone can have more wins in life, love, and work by understanding what's really being communicated.

People in our lives may be waiting for us to see and decode their body language so we can hear their pain, fear, and heartbreak.