Back to School Body Language Tips

Body language plays a crucial role in the bullying experience that often goes unaddressed in conversations with children.

Parents often focus on what to say to bullies but neglect the nonverbal signals that communicate victimhood or bullying behavior.

Understanding the nonverbal side of bullying helps parents teach children what body language signals confidence versus vulnerability.

Parents need to address body language as part of their bullying prevention strategy at the start of the school year.

When parents feel nervous or anxious about their child's bullying situation, their tensed body signals this nervousness to their child.

Mirror neurons in the brain cause children to copy the body language of people they are with, creating a cycle of mirrored tension.

• Keep neck and shoulders relaxed • Take deep belly breaths • Keep arms loose and open

When parents maintain relaxed body language, children adopt an open-minded frame of mind when discussing bullying and school.

Harvard Business School research shows that body language directly affects feelings and hormone levels.

• Confident body language makes you feel more confident • Victim body language makes you feel more like a victim • These feelings trigger changes in hormone levels, particularly cortisol (stress hormone)

When kids are bullied, their cortisol levels spike, making confident body language critical before entering school.

Parents should encourage kids to adopt confident postures before school to prevent stress hormones from increasing.

• Play music over breakfast • Play music in the car on the way to school • This gets kids loose, breathing, and in a confident mindset

• Leave arms loose • Keep feet firmly planted • Avoid blocking behavior

Hugging notebooks or items to the chest produces high cortisol levels and victim-like body language that makes kids feel more nervous.

Encourage kids to hold notebooks at their side or wear a backpack instead of clutching items to their chest.

Self-soothing body hugs (crossing arms) are common in bullied kids but actually reduce testosterone and increase cortisol.

• Put hands on hips • Find the sun with shoulders back and chest up • Keep head held high • Walk with chest and head up

These confident postures increase testosterone levels and reverse the victim feeling that self-hugging creates.

In movies and real life, confident and popular kids naturally carry themselves with chest and head up, while less confident kids look down and inward.

The same confident postures that counter bullying also build self-confidence in all children.

• Taking up more physical space signals self-confidence • Leaning back or spreading limbs demonstrates confidence • More space equals better self-perception

Body language works both ways: confident postures create confident feelings, and confident feelings create confident body language.

Proper space-taking is not arrogance or cockiness; it's appropriate confidence that shows comfort in one's surroundings.

Parents should demonstrate good body language by taking up appropriate space using armrests and not tucking themselves into chairs.

• Children tuck legs under chairs to make themselves small • Children put hands in armrests to minimize visibility • These behaviors indicate they are trying to disappear

When kids understand they can take up comfortable space, it creates a positive cycle of feeling confident and actually being healthier.

• Put notebook in backpack to avoid blocking behavior • Start the day with a smile to signal openness • Smiling opens the mouth and brings in more oxygen, promoting relaxation