Questions to Ask on The First Date

Learn how to have sparkling, captivating conversations on a first date and build a bond quickly.

Vanessa Van Edwards runs the Science of People, a human behavior research lab focused on dating and social dynamics.

Five favorite first date questions designed to create better conversations and connections.

These questions are researched and tested to produce more meaningful responses than typical first date inquiries.

Are you working on any personal passion projects?

It transitions naturally from discussions about being busy, work, or hobbies into a broader conversation about how someone spends their time.

This question is much better than asking 'What are your hobbies?' or 'What do you do?' as it produces richer responses.

Creates a nice broad discussion that reveals more about the person's interests and lifestyle.

What's the best present you ever gave someone?

• Around the holidays • Around one of your birthdays • When there's a birthday in the restaurant where you're eating

It tells you a lot about a person and how they express love and care for people in their life.

Make sure you have given some good gifts in your history so you have a great answer to this question as well.

What does a typical day look like for you?

Instead of asking 'What do you do?' this question produces much more robust answers and reveals far more about a person.

• Whether they're an early riser • How they spend their free time • What they typically do in their job

Career details usually come up naturally when you ask this question, so you don't need to ask about it directly.

What sort of vacations do you like to take?

Don't ask 'Have you gone on any vacations recently?' because they might not have gone anywhere interesting, resulting in awkward silence.

Produces great conversation and ample get-to-know-you responses.

A study by Professor Richard Wiseman found that 18% of couples who discussed travel went on a second date, compared to only 9% of couples who talked about movies.

Anything surprising happened today?

Instead of asking 'How was your day?' this question avoids canned responses like 'fine' or 'pretty good.'

You can also try asking for their high point and their low point to get more meaningful responses.

Gets more genuine and detailed answers about their actual experiences and emotions from the day.

The five questions shown are only the first five of 13 great first date questions available on their resources.

All 13 questions are available on the Science of People blog at scienceofpeople.com/firstdate.

Viewers are encouraged to share which first date questions they like to use in the comments.

Additional advanced dating tips are available in the Body Language of Love and Dating course, which covers romance strategies.