Raise Your Social IQ

Vanessa Van Edwards is an author and behavioral investigator who researches the science of people, how people act, why they act the way they do, and how to read them.

While the eyes are often called the window to the soul, behavioral researchers recognize that the hands are equally important windows to the soul.

• Keep your hands visible to show you are open to meeting people and honest • Avoid tucking thumbs in pockets or putting fingers in pockets, as this signifies lack of confidence • People who talk with their hands demonstrate engagement and confidence

Visible hands are essential for projecting confidence and approachability at social gatherings.

A small percent of the population are called truth wizards, people born with the ability to detect lies with 80% accuracy, compared to the normal 50/50 chance.

Researchers study truth wizards and teach their techniques to people who don't naturally have this ability, making lie detection a learnable skill.

Through research and training, anyone can develop the ability to read people's emotions and detect deception more accurately.

You don't need to be born with this talent; you can learn it through proper study and practice.

Never try to be inauthentic or force social behavior that doesn't feel natural to you.

• For shy people, focus on one or two people instead of large groups • Look for people standing by the food or in accessible locations • Groups are very intimidating, so start smaller

• Approach people with open body stance facing towards you • Avoid approaching people checking their phone or closed off • Stay away from people who appear drunk or upset

Starting with one-on-one or small group interactions helps shy people build confidence without overwhelming themselves.

A one-sided mouth lift, known as a smirk, is an expression of contempt or hatred, not happiness or interest.

Shy people often use smirks to cover their nerves, thinking they are bonding, but others perceive it as contemptuous or hateful.

• Smile fully and use your teeth • Make sure your smile is genuine, not fake • People easily pick up on inauthentic expressions

A genuine, full smile creates connection, while a smirk creates distance and negative perceptions.

Dr. Paul Ekman, who inspired the TV show Lie to Me, discovered micro expressions—facial expressions that all humans make regardless of culture or language.

• A form of anger and defensiveness • Commonly seen in business negotiations when someone disagrees • Warning sign before a punch in physical confrontations

Learning to identify micro expressions allows you to detect genuine reactions and hidden emotions in others.

Understanding micro expressions helps you read people's true feelings in important situations like negotiations and personal conversations.

Surprise is marked by upside-down U eyebrows. However, Botox can prevent this natural expression.

Fear is characterized by flat eyebrows, which is distinctly different from the upside-down U of surprise.

• If asking your husband about something and he shows surprise with upside-down U eyebrows, it indicates genuine surprise • Fear would show a different eyebrow pattern and suggests a different emotional state

Distinguishing between surprise and fear helps you assess honesty and detect deception in important personal moments.

Disgust is expressed by showing upper teeth and often appears as a reaction to something unpleasant.

• Visible in children when given something they don't like • Appears in social situations when people disapprove of someone • Seen early in dating situations, particularly on reality TV shows like The Bachelor

Recognizing disgust expressions allows you to understand who people genuinely like or dislike and identify early relationship incompatibilities.

You can predict which people will be eliminated from dating shows by observing their facial expressions of disgust toward potential partners.

Vanessa Van Edwards teaches poker players how to read people and their facial expressions for competitive advantage.

Teaching poker players to recognize facial expressions is one of the biggest workshops offered.

The skills of reading micro expressions and facial cues extend far beyond poker to negotiations, relationships, and everyday social interactions.

Mastering the ability to read faces gives you a significant advantage in understanding what people really think and feel.