What is the secret of a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness

• Many people believe money and wealth are essential to happiness • 83% of college freshmen surveyed wanted to become rich • 55% wanted to be successful in their careers

People are not good at predicting what will make them happy, and lottery winners often return to baseline happiness levels after the initial surge wears off.

Reconstructed memories mean people only encode bits and pieces of experiences, making recall unreliable for studying happiness.

Following people throughout their entire lives to capture choices and their effects on happiness is more accurate than relying on memory.

• Running since 1938, making it the longest study of human development ever conducted • Began as two separate Harvard studies that eventually merged • First group followed 268 young men from Harvard • Second group studied 456 boys from Boston's poorest families

Started with 724 participants, expanded to include spouses and children, totaling between 2,500 and 3,000 people across multiple generations.

• Participants interviewed every two years about life choices, isolation, pain, marriage, career, friendships, and health • Modern methods include DNA analysis, messenger RNA, DNA methylation, heart rate variability, and cortisol measurement

Passed down through four generations of researchers, with director Robert Waldinger currently leading the study in its 85th year.

Taking care of physical health has huge benefits for longevity and how long people stay healthy.

• 15 minutes of daily exercise reduces risk of dying by 14% and increases life expectancy by 3 years • Each additional 15 minutes decreases mortality risk by 4% • Higher physical activity reduces cognitive decline risk by 35% and dementia risk by 14%

• Eating well • Getting regular exercise • Not abusing alcohol or drugs • Not smoking • Getting preventive healthcare

The most unexpected finding was that relationships, not just physical habits, are crucial for health and happiness.

• People with stronger social connections have 50% increased likelihood of survival for any given year • Married men live 12 years longer on average than unmarried men • Married women live 7 years longer on average than unmarried women • Living together in intimate partnerships keeps people healthier

Relationships act as emotion and stress regulators, helping bodies return to equilibrium after stressful events through calming presence and support.

• Loneliness is as dangerous as smoking half a pack of cigarettes daily • Loneliness is as dangerous as being obese • Poor social relationships increase heart disease risk by 29% • Poor social relationships increase stroke risk by 32%

• One in two adults report measurable levels of loneliness • Young people are most affected • Social engagement decreased from 60 minutes daily in 2003 to 20 minutes in 2020 • Technology has replaced rich in-person connections with lower-quality online interactions

Loneliness is the subjective experience of being less connected to people than you want to be, different from being alone, and you can be lonely in a crowd.

• Introverts need solitude and few solid relationships, which is perfectly healthy • Extroverts want many people in their lives • Neither introversion nor extroversion is healthier than the other • Both need human connection

At age 50, satisfaction with marital relationships was the strongest predictor of happiness and health at age 80, more so than blood pressure or cholesterol.

• People in secure relationships maintain sharper memories in their 80s • Lonely people experience memory decline 20% faster over 10 years • Loneliness increases dementia risk

• Badges of achievement do not necessarily make people happier • Doing meaningful work can increase happiness • People in their 80s reported being proud of relationships, not wealth or prizes

• 2010 study found no improvement in emotional wellbeing above $75,000 annual income • 2021 study of 33,000 adults found higher incomes corresponded to higher wellbeing • 2022 analysis revealed the relationship depends on initial happiness levels

• Below $100,000 yearly threshold, higher income increases happiness for all groups • Above $100,000, unhappiest people gain no additional happiness from more money • Happier groups continue to benefit from higher income

• Biggest regrets among elderly participants, especially men, were spending too much time at work • They wished they had spent more time with people they care about • Nobody regretted not making a fortune or winning prizes

Relationships have always been present, so we take them for granted like air we breathe, and don't think of them as something to cultivate for happiness.

• Treat relationships like physical fitness, requiring daily practice • Best at relationships were those who regularly stayed connected through phone calls, walks, coffee, and shared activities • Consistency day after day, week after week is key

A man with poor marriage, distant from kids, and no friends found happiness by joining a gym and forming a tribe of friends after retirement, showing that lives can change unexpectedly at any age.

• Many things can change at any age • Don't give up on relationships • Life takes twists and turns we cannot predict • Many of those turns are in positive directions